Everyone Can Come!

To make it possible for everyone to attend church next Sunday:

• Beds will be placed in the fellowship hall for those who say, "Sunday is my only day to rest."
• Eye drops will be available for those with tired eyes from watching TV too late on Saturday night.
• Steel helmets will be provided for those who say, "The roof would cave in if I ever went to church."
• Blankets will be furnished for those who think that church is too cold and air-conditioning for those who say that it is too hot.
• We will reserve the front pews for those who like the pastor's sermons and the back pews with earplugs for those who dislike his sermons.
• Score cards will be available for those who list the hypocrites present.
• TV dinners will be available for those who can't go to church and cook the noon meal for the family.
• We will have a selection of trees and shrubs for those who like to see God in nature.